This is a story about narcissism. I know, another one. Sadly, this is the story of the age.
I grew up with narcissists in a narcissistic household. I have worked for narcissists and been ruled by them too. A while back I began the journey into understanding just what the hell was going on. It's been a long road and mainly painful, but also with some hope.
Dealing with people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is very difficult. The first reaction that people tend to have is to try and figure out how to make that person change their behaviour. Can we appeal to their better nature? No, you cannot, they do not have one. Can we fight them and force them to behave as we want? Maybe, but they will fight back harder and dirtier and even if you win your life will have become a burned out battlefield, looking like Gaza or Tyre.
Can we maybe compromise and live alongside them? We can try, but they will always want more - their goal is to upset you, if you tolerate something they will up the stakes until you *are* upset. Your life will be a story of tolerating the intolerable and ultimately snapping and playing into their hands.
At some point I realised that you cannot apply the rules we were taught in childhood to people with NPD. The stuff we learn in fairy stories and in Disney movies - be nice to people and they will be nice to you too. Just ignore that bad behaviour. Turn the other cheek.
Those rules were made for healthy people, and for healthy people they work, but they require mutual respect and respect for the rules. NPD sufferers think that rules are for everybody else and respect is only due to them. If you are nice to them they see that as weakness and steal from you. If you ignore the bad behaviour they will do it more, harder, worse. If you turn the other cheek they will whack you on that side too.
So, I figured, the normal rules no longer apply. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a serious psychiatric condition, it is not somebody just being a bit mean. Psychology Today is as good a starting point to learn about it as any
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder
NPD individuals are bad enough, but we currently, in June 2026, have a US president who fits the diagnosis perfectly. I believe that people with genetic predisposition to NPD are being triggered into exhibiting full blown symptoms by watching the US President and seeing how well his tactics work. This is leading to a breakdown of social norms and a rise of narcissism in social groups, families, businesses, political parties and even charities. If a person with NPD joins a group which doesn't already have a narcissist, they can use the NPD tactics of bullying, threats, law-breaking and insults to take over the group and steer it to operate solely for their benefit.
This video from Dr. David Benjamin has a good run-down of typical behaviours seen in a Trump interview:
With these behaviours widespread in society we have to come to the realisation that for social groups, families, businesses, political parties and for the world at large the old rules no longer apply.
In fact, the old rules are the problem. We cannot allow ourselves to be abused because of our own politeness or decency, we need some new rules to help us deal with this tidal wave of bad behaviour.
